Yesterday was Saturday. A glorious day when my house is always clean (by about 2pm) from top to bottom and we generally don't have much of a schedule. Nate wanted to shop for some shoes in SLC and then we were going to stop by IKEA, just for fun.
Some plans just turn out wrong. We went to Fashion Place because Nate wanted a Sears. Alas, when we got there we found the store was closing and had already sold out 90% of it's inventory. Disappointing, but we still needed food, right? We walked to the food court. Now, I don't know exactly what is wrong with me. Sometimes my patience is just not existent. We ordered some corn dogs at the Corn Dog Factory and I was in the middle of paying when Ben informed me that he didn't want a corn dog. Whatever?! I was annoyed and I wasn't going to get him something else. He was being kind of argumentative. We had already had a little squabble earlier that day in which I had yelled at him. I mean, I really yelled at him. I had to apologize later. Anyway, here I was, buying him dinner and he was complaining. Right there in front of the cashier I gave Ben a swack on the forehead. Not sure what a swack is...well, neither am I. It is kind of like a little hit on the forehead, like you are trying to kill a bug sitting there. I also told him he was acting like a jerk. What, you can't believe I said that. Neither can I. It was really a sign of my lack of control. Anyway, I felt pretty bad about it and found myself apologizing once again.
As we ate I began sharing tastes of my shrimp (from the Japanese place) with the kids. At first Ben told me he was allergic to shrimp and he didn't want any. I was trying to make up for my bad behavior earlier so I encouraged him to try it. I figured that he probably really wasn't allergic to it. He decided to try. One bite and about 1 minute later the allergic reaction set in. Your throat starts to itch, your ear canals start to itch and the space in your esophagus seems to shrink. He was not very happy and I felt even worse. I should have listened when he told me he didn't want any. Before we got out of the mall Ben had thrown up on the floor on his way to the bathroom. I think he was having a bit of anxiety about his throat. I was worried we were going to have to take him to the ER but luckily, he seemed to maintain the ability to breath. We ran over to ShopKo for Benadryl. Our night ended. Ben did not recover fully for a couple of hours. No IKEA trip for me. I guess that was my penance for the whole thing. Next time I will remember - keep Ben away from shrimp. And, on a more personal side, recognize my limits and be the one to stop talking, walk away, or totally ignore the situation so that I don't do something I regret.
Motherhood is tough.