I am two weeks into my new job now. . . really three if you count my first week in which I did nothing. :) I received my first paycheck. . . and consequently, since I am on a salary, I still got paid that week. Getting a paycheck again was awesome. So far I am liking my job. Last week was my first week using my online classroom. Admittedly, it was a little scary and awkward. I got through it though and next week will be much easier. The students are all nice kids and I had a lot of fun getting to know them. I like working with a little bit older student. They have a bit more of an opinion in life. I have two students here in Ogden so I talked with the parents about visiting them. I might as well get to see some faces.
In the end though, work is still work. I get up, get Ben ready and off to school, then I come home and go to work. Some days I work for a couple hours and then break. Those days are better because i can give a bit of attention to the girls. Wednesday's it seems like i am scheduled non stop. Last Wednesday was really hard on the girls. I may have to get a sitter once a week. Friday I had done my break, but I could see the girls were still bored. I had to get back online so I did something desperate. I got out paints, real word painting paint, gave the girls some wood blocks and left them to paint there hearts out. The whole time I thought I must be crazy. . . but actually, they did very well. Two hours later when I emerged from my office (unfortunately, that is also my bedroom) there was no paint on the floor and the blocks were painted. Rachel even put her name on the blocks.
I know it's hard on them. I sat down with Rachel and reasoned with her in terms of money. I told her how much I make an hour. She was amazed. . . I mean.. . I doesn't take much to amaze a 5 year old who thinks in terms of the toys she could buy with that money. It's hard not to feel guilty about not being there 100%, but at least I am there. I still feel very lucky, even with my guilt, that I got this job. Especially with so many teachers being laid off this year after many districts doing major budget makeovers. There are going to be a lot of people looking for jobs. So, once again, I am so thankful for this blessing.
2 comments:
I feel guilty every single day, too. I think it just comes with the territory of being a mom. It seems like there's always a million things to do besides giving 100% attention to the kids. But they know that you love them, and they'll adjust! You're a fabulous mom.
You are brave to allow them to paint on their own. What good girls! My house would not have survived, I would have been repainting the walls after. Mothers guilt never ends even without working. No matter what you do mom's always feel guilty for some reason.
Post a Comment